Urban legend has it that single women in search of intelligent, successful men are having a ball in the Silicon Valley, the land of some of the most educated, well paid workers in the world.
In reality, the dating scene here is worse than anywhere else.
As a matter of fact, finding romance here is probably harder than finding a house for under half a million dollars in the Silicon Valley. With the area minting over 64 new millionaires a day, men in the Silicon Valley are constantly afraid of gold-diggers who only come to play the next round of “Who Wants to Meet a Millionaire.” Especially since the ratio of men to women is so high, the few women who do reside in the area get the advantage of the “pick of the litter.”
According to evolutionary psychologist Satoshi Kanazawa, a woman’s upper hand in the dating scene can be attributed to the idea that sex and mating is a female choice.
Because females contribute greater investments in their children than males do, women establish social institutions and norms on whether or not societies practice monogamy or polygyny. Knowing that women can get the best of both worlds through polygyny (secret affairs with handsome men can allow their children to carry high-quality genes while the parental investment of their clueless but resourceful husband) can translate into fear of unfaithfulness in a relationship. Moreover, the Silicon Valley has a high degree of resource inequality so women are better off sharing wealthy men (even 1/10 of a man!) than a whole of a poor man, keeping men on further lookout for women who care more about their bank accounts than the man himself.
Another typical indicator of a potential gold-digger would be a woman who expects diamonds and flowers from her man. Kanazawa, on the other hand, attributes such “costly but worthless” gifts to be a facilitation of courtship that reveals a man’s willingness to invest in a woman and her children. Such an connection can be made to a scenario presented in Virtual Love, in which the main character Virginia finds it a “life-threatening humiliation” to have her potential suitor Max pay for all her clothes and birthday gifts in exchange for managing his business dinners. Kanazawa would argue that Max’s “benevolence”, driven by his own intrinsic interests, was what made him an unappealing prospective husband.
Not all women are solely concerned about material benefits, however. Especially in a world where an increasing number of women are gaining power and status equal to that of men, men in the Silicon Valley should feel less deterred from meeting woman and being taken advantage of. So men, while it is always good to stay cautious, you should never let over-suspicion conquer your love life. And let’s be real here, if you’re not going to spend those millions of $$$ on flowers, diamonds, and the conquest for love, then what good is all that money anyways?