Techies Can’t Get Girls? – A Evolutionary Psychology Standpoint


Techies can’t get girls.

That is what the books, articles, drama and movies, and any other types of media say. According to them (or rather the general public), a stereotypical man in the tech industry is awkward, anti-social, workaholic, and is obsessed in technology and the virtual world. And, the biggest difficulty for a techie guy, is that he cannot find a girl to marry. But why is that the case? The men in tech industries surely do have lots of money, which many women definitely seem to like. While there are many opinions around, evolutionary psychologists offer a different and unique view on techies’ situation on getting girls. They state, it is intrinsically hard for men in find women to marry because of women’s pickiness and their inadequacy as a good male mate. Evolutionary psychology however also explains how techies can be good husbands from their devotion and wealth. 

Evolutionary psychology suggests that techie men will suffer no matter what because women are naturally more selective. This thought is explained in an evolutionary psychology based book “Why beautiful people have more daughters” by Alan Miller and Satoshi Kanazawa (who is quite controversial). Basically, the authors explain that women are picker for their partner than men because women produce far less eggs compared to how many sperms men produce in a lifetime. Since women are born with about 400 eggs in contrast to men who can continue making sperms, their eggs are much valuable. Women are also the one who get pregnant for 9 months, unlike men who can make their babies instantly through sexual intercourse. Women invests much more and therefore will naturally be more careful and more picky in choosing their potential husband. On top of the natural selectivity of women, research shows that men outnumber women by 7 to 3 in the Tech industry. In area where tech industry is concentrated such as San Francisco, there are 1.42 as more men as women. With limited eggs, long period of pregnancy, and a large ratio of men to women, women in the tech industries or in area of tech industries will be much picker for men, making techies more difficult to find a match.

In a more individual and personal level, techie men are unable to date and marry women because their characteristics are undesirable according to evolutionary psychology’s definition of a good husband. According to Kanazawa and Miller, an ideal husband is healthy, strong, resourceful, and overall, just able to protect and support his family. The stereotype of a techie, as stated before, is awkward, anti-social, workaholic, and obsessed in technology and the virtual world. Assuming that the stereotypes are true, men in tech industries do not fit the definition of an ideal male mate at all. Since techies mostly spend their time sitting in front of a computer, they are most likely to be weak physically because of the immobile labour and lack of time to exercise. Being workaholic and obsessed to the computer and gadgets, techies are also more likely to be unable (or even unwilling) to invest their time and emotions to their girlfriends or families. In the ancient times, a man who is weak and unable to attend his mate will less likely to pass down their genes, and hence be unattractive to the women. Evolutionary psychology therefore claims that men in tech industries have difficulty in finding women because they they do not have qualities that meet a good husband who is able to protect and raise a successful family.

Evolutionary psychology however does shine hope for the techies. It explains that men in the tech industries may have an advantage because they are less likely to cheat. In “Why beautiful people have more daughters”, the authors assert that handsome men make bad husbands because they are more likely to cheat and give their physical and emotional resource to other women. According to their reasoning, women should choose men who are not very handsome so that they can get all the attention and resource from the man. Men in tech industries stereotypically do not dress nice or give much attention to their appearance. Moreover, techie guys will not even have the time or energy to cheat and pursue other women under the stereotypes. Hence if this is all true, techies can match the definition of a “good husband” that evolutionary psychologists describe. Although this is not from evolutionary psychologists, other sources also states that techies tend to be very dedicated and “real about their relationships”. Coupled with the fact that techies to have enough money and resource to provide a family, men in the tech industries do not do so bad as a male mate in terms of evolutionary psychology as well.

While techie men will find difficulty in finding women because of the innately high competition by women and because of their undesirable qualities as a husband due to their careers, evolutionary psychology says that techies can also be good male mates because of their devotion and what they can provide for the family. The unappreciated qualities of techies such as physical weakness and obsession with work should be, no can be controlled by the techie’s own will and mind. Although techies do definitely have to face the high standards imposed by women, I think they are not completely hopeless as the media portrays them. If techie guy truly wants to succeed, all he needs to do is to improve himself, sell out his inherent good points, and reach out from the virtual world to find real love. After all, it all depends on our actions.


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